"The Very Model of a Modern Major
Sea-Vessel"
by Warren H. Davis
I recently received the following email:
"Subject: Oriana"
"Warren, Meet me at the Pier 88 on Saturday at the Information Desk. We're
expected aboard Oriana at 10am. Tim"
My brain immediately clicked into pre-cruise ritual mode. No, we wouldn't be
sailing with Oriana for her transatlantic crossing. But that's how I am.
Whenever I know I'll be embarking a ship, even if it is only for one day, it is
still a day aboard a ship! And a day aboard a ship requires planning and
preparation. Pepper the Cat started eying me with a combination of trepidation
and surrender. She knows the drill. When the ironing board comes out and
the clothes brush appears, the inevitable Bon Voyage Cat Tango is imminent. I
spared her the humiliation this time and simply treated her to a dish of cream.
But still, she kept her distance.
Tim had invited me to join him for his walkthrough for cruisemates.com of this
very traditional British ship. I wanted to immerse myself in the
experience. I dubbed the day's attire as "informal" and dressed
accordingly in jacket and tie. Sloppy t-shirt and jeans might be acceptable
elsewhere on the piers today, but not aboard Oriana. My instincts served me well
as I discovered later while roaming Oriana's decks. This graceful lady is due
such respect and courtesy. It isn't a matter of stuffy obligation. So uplifting
is her company you can't help but look your best. You'd be foolish to resist her
pedigree.
Upon boarding, Tim and I were greeted by Cruise Director Ian Fraser shortly
after 10. For the next two hours Ian served as our personal tour guide. We
couldn't have been more fortunate. Ian was part of the team that assisted in
Oriana's introduction. He knows the vessel from top to bottom and provided
comprehensive and entertaining commentary. His pride in his ship was contagious
as he treated us to a behind-the-scenes type of tour. Ian explained the original
design purpose of each room, whether or not the intent was successful, and in
one case a glimpse of plans to correct the flaws that render one lounge
underutilized.
Touring the ship I had an odd and comforting thought. I had finally discovered
my new oceanic mistress. With my Lady in Blue -- S/S Norway -- drawing rapidly
to her retirement I've been wondering if I would ever find a ship I would feel
as comfortable sailing. In various internet cruise forums over the years I have
gamely participated in the "wish lists" threads considering what would
be the "perfect" ship. Some of the ideas that I've contributed or
endorsed in the past have been 1) adult-only areas on deck; 2) separate
family deck areas; 3) a "third" children's dinner seating allowing
parents and fellow passengers to dine in a more adult ambience during the
regular dinner sittings; 3A) A ship that welcomes children with extensive
dedicated facilities with the expectation that they will either be enrolled or
be closely supervised by their parents; 4) requested attire that is honored,
enforced, and adhered to for the entire evening; 5) more sophisticated evening
entertainment and lectures with emphasis on socializing rather than sitting and
merely watching; 6) the return of a truly dedicated movie theater; 7) an oasis
or two aboard ship dedicated to quiet pursuits, peace and tranquility; 8) a
traditional aft lido with tiered wedding cake decks rising above; 9) A library
staffed and operated by a librarian that is open throughout the day, every day;
10) broad inside and outside promenades; 11) teak used for just about every inch
of expansive outer decks; 12) traditional railings through which you can watch
the ocean;
I have found this ship in Oriana! She's the very model of this modern major
sea-vessel! All twelve items on my "wish list" are integral to this
legend in the making.
Two spaces on the ship are dedicated to the sounds of waterfalls and fountains
for tranquil moments. One softly cascades down the cozy Tiffany Court atrium. At
the top of the atrium sits a piano underneath a Tiffany glass dome. The pianist
provides background music that softly drifts down along with the water. The
combined affect is tranquilizing and serene. Absent are any glass-enclosed
elevators disturbing the peacefulness of this wonderful water garden. The second
area is appropriately named The Oasis, which adjoins the spa. This wood decked
enclosed solarium of sorts has forward views, deck chairs, a fountain sculpture
and two Jacuzzi spas. A more relaxing spot I've not encountered on any ship
prior.
The Crows Nest is the forward observation lounge perched high atop the ship. One
corner is dedicated to a piano and mini-band stand. Ian explained that the sound
system in the room is zoned. The music can be amplified for the entire room, or
isolated to the area immediately surrounding the musicians allowing those in the
farther reaches of the room to enjoy background music and quiet conversation. In
fact Ian's rule aboard ship is that no music is to be too loud as to prevent
conversation without shouting. The only exception to this is the rock and roll
show and perhaps the disco.
Another room, Anderson's, doesn't even allow music at all. This
room is dedicated to quiet conversation, a favorite drink, and perhaps a cigar.
The library complex consists of the actual Library, Thackery's, and Crichton's.
The library itself is stocked with 3000 titles with
another 1000 in reserve just in case. A librarian is in attendance for 8-10
hours every day and books may be checked out two at a time. Adjoining the Library
to starboard is Crichton's, probably one of the largest card/game rooms I've
seen afloat. Comfy in shades of green tartan, Ian says this room sometimes
overflows for the nightly 'quizzes' (what we call 'trivia contests'). The room
seats at least 250 people. Each table boasts a gaming top. One side for cards,
the other for chess or checkers. Portside to the Library is Thackery's, a room
filled with wing chairs, sofas for reading, and desks for writing. This room
says "come sit down and rest." It is impossible to resist this
inviting refuge, perfect for lazy days at sea.
Another unique room is Curzon, the only room that even remotely approaches gaudy
with its numerous crystal chandeliers. This room is a dedicated room for concert
chamber music and piano recitals. Sit, have a glass of champagne, a cup of tea,
and listen to the music of the masters. The Steinway Piano was built
specifically for Oriana employing woods that match the room's other furnishings.
Even the compact Monte Carlo Club is for quiet gaming. James Bond would be quite
at home here. The slot machines are situated elsewhere. As I stood in the
deserted room, I could imagine hearing the clicking of the chips, the snapping
of the cards as they are dealt, and the sound of the ball circling the roulette
wheel without the intrusive clanging, ringing and dinging of the one arm
bandits!
Lest you think Oriana is a ship totally devoted to culture and refinements, she
lets her hair down and can belt out a song or down a pint with the best of
them. Just head for Lords Tavern, where there's never a dress code and the taps
flow freely. Here, without pretending to be a replica of a traditional Pub, is a
Pub nonetheless. And if the atmosphere inside is a bit too rowdy, you can exit
to the promenade right from the Pub where tables and chairs await! According to
Ian, the party in the Harlequins disco sometimes rocks until 8am.
Unlike many ships designed for North Americans, the various public rooms
perfectly fit the overall decorative design. There is no room that seems out of
place or character with the others. There is a common color scheme that
predominates throughout that for me seemed just a tad boring though. But then
I'm still a bit queasy from a recent cruise aboard Carnival Destiny where the
only common element among the rooms was hundreds of miles of Tivoli lights. My
senses might not have calmed down yet. Never is there a room aboard Oriana that
prompts the jaw to drop -- until you enter the Theatre Royal.
Walking in to Theatre Royal is like taking a step into London's West End. The
walls are dark wood accented by gold treatments illuminated by recessed spot
lights. The carpet is of course royal blue and the rows and rows of traditional
theater seating are crimson red velvet. The stage is vast. Ian told us that
along with some other P&O entertainment staff, they formed their own
"theatrical company" that stages all the shows. These range from
various song and dance revues, variety acts, and comedians to dramatic plays and
scaled down musicals. Of all the rooms that he had design input, Ian was
proudest of Theatre Royal. Many Off-Broadway and regional theater companies
would sell their souls to call this theater home.
One deck above Theatre Royal is Chaplin's Cinema. Seating approximately 200 or
so people, the room offers traditional movie theater style seats where two
different recent releases are shown each night. Mannequins of Charlie Chaplin
greet you on the way in, and bid you goodnight on the way out. During the day
Ian schedules special lectures in this room. He commented that he often must
turn away disappointed passengers as the lectures "sell out" quickly.
The consolation is that every lecture is broadcast live on the ship's television
network and repeated several times throughout a cruise.
Up top are two pool areas. The Crystal pool is adults only and is long enough to
actually do serious laps! I believe this is designed to be more of a quiet
sunning area. The Riviera Pool is most likely the livelier area with a band
stand and the setting for zany pool games. Here is where you will also
find a bar, the Pizzeria. The entrance to the expansive gym and spa complex is
just forward of this. Several decks down and all the way aft sits the Terrace
Pool on the stern. Terrace is designated for family fun, conveniently located
adjacent to Peter Pan's children's play room and outdoor playground,
Decibels teen hangout and disco, and the Outer Space arcade for the "in
betweens." Peter Pan's looked so fun I wanted to sit on the floor and play
with all the toys myself!
Ian concluded our tour shortly after noon by inviting Tim and me to have lunch
in the Peninsular Dining Room. Earlier we had toured the Oriental (as in
P&O). Both rooms seemed vaguely familiar and it hit both of us
simultaneously. Except for the more neutral color scheme and the finer crystal
chandeliers, these rooms were definite forerunners of the Four Seasons and Seven
Seas aboard Norwegian Sky! It turns out that the same design team did both
ship's interiors. In fact Oriana's standard cabins, at 150 square feet each, are
nearly identical in décor and layout to the Sky's.
The lunch menu was decidedly British and served by an Indian wait staff. I
enjoyed the day's special beef curry that thankfully was not too hot for my
taste buds. The curry and accompanying rice did not arrive from the galley
already plated, but rather dished out from hot serving trays! Various condiments
were similarly spooned from a decoratively arranged platter. Dessert was a yummy
peach tart with a butterscotch sauce -- not too sweet, not too bland. Just
right! The coffee was delicious and our waiter even poured the cream into the
mug. There were other typically British choices on the menu from a batter-fried
haddock to some other items that I simply didn't recognize. However, as I
alluded to in my opening paragraphs, I had come aboard expecting and prepared
for all things British, not North American. Had the menu made any attempts to
cater to my American palate I would have been sorely disappointed.
Quite frankly I wish the other cruise lines would provide onboard ambience as
unapologetically authentic to their supposed pedigrees. Wouldn't it be terrific
if the "Norwegian Way" actually provided a taste of Norway, if the
"Greek" ships of Celebrity were a bit more Hellenic, and Cruising
Italian Style really meant just that in more than just a superficial way? When
was the last time those dam ships were actually Dutch in more than name alone?
While guiding us through Oriana Cruise Director Ian Fraser mentioned that
P&O had learned some things from its sibling Princess Cruises and
incorporated them into Oriana and her new sister Aurora. I couldn't help but
imagine how much the "big three" lines could learn from this treasure
of the British Isles. She is truly the jewel of the crown!
There's Mercury, and Zenith not to mention the Horizon.
On Century and Meridian I certainly have been on.
I've sailed Seabreeze, Oceanbreeze, Galileo and what's that other one?
Sky Princess, lunch on Song of America and the first monstrosity with the big
atrium.
Another Sky for Norwegian, lunch on Legend that was so ho-hum.
A recent voyage on Carnival Destiny, I even found her to be sort of fun.
Cunard Countess several times, twice is the number of QE2's,
About the S/S Norway I am expert and teeming with a LOT OF NEWS!
But in short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
Oriana is the very model of a modern major sea-vessel!
She is the very model of a modern major sea-vessel!
Copyright
© 2000 Warren H Davis--all rights reserved
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